Self control

Enough of starting my blog entry with the word sorry.

More like, hi, I'm back.

My personal online diary. Abandoned you for months but somehow, I always come back. ha.

So anyway, so many things changed and happened in the past few months.

Academic wise, social life, love life (?)..

But most of all, I'm most repulsed by my lackadaisical attitude.

I dont feel like Im acting like a student anymore.

Most upset with my horrendous lifestyle. This has got to change.

I dont know where to start.

What do I want from my life. Didnt even bother to make a resolution list this year because I know that it wont be fulfilled. I have other obsessions which are fucking detrimental to my future.

I want to change. No, I need to change.

Do you have self control? Because I know I dont.

I lost myself.

I hope one day, I can regain back what I lost. everything.

Self control is the most valuable thing I want now.

Only I can give myself that.

I hope one day, when I read this again, I can tell myself, yes, I have self control.

Greed, lust, jealousy, hatred, procrastination kills.

Ghost n stuff

As days gets shorter, the night lingers on for a longer period of time.

Nothing seems to matter any more.

Went out for 6 nights in 2 weeks.

Had enough.

Attended a flat party which was hosted by my batch :)

We all had to dress up so I decided to dress up as a devil. SO ME RIGHT? :P

Wanted to be a bunny but I guess Im not so 'bouncy hyper-ish' after all.

So on Saturday, I impulsively bought some horns and gloves to complement my devil look.

Yummylicious :)

Ainur as an angel, Jaymee as a cat mouse, Grace as Jenny Humprey, Eileen as a flower girl, Whit-ni as.. I dont know? She looked really pretty though. Audrey Hepburn probably, and Tracy as a playboy bunny :) Love it all!

See how many devils there were? Wrong choice I supposed.

Baby cheryl is the cutest :) hahahaa. Wanna pinch her cheeeeks!

Zhi as a mysterious witch and Yi ping as the black angel. So sexy i like!

Group piccc!!! :D

The next day, we went to La Tasca to celebrate Chew Eileen's birthday :D

Later on we hit the club.

Was the wrong choice thanks to simba who suggested Milan and ditched us because it was sooo empty.

Love the space there though. Nobody to push you around humph! Literally NOONE. Hahaa.

Jaymee the devil and the birthday girl :)

My sexy friends and I haha.

Left the club pretty early to head back to rest but ended up in another flat party which was even more happening than the club?

Absurd.

Happy halloween everybody.

What did you dress up as :)

The future.

Have you ever thought of what you wanted to be when you were younger? Did you actually fulfil your ambition?

As for me, whenever I was asked this question or made to write an essay about it, my mind goes blank. I never knew what I liked, what I wanted in life, where my talent lies.

I always just replied by saying i want to be a doctor so that I could help others and give people free medication. But obviously, thats bullshit.

Me? Being a doctor? FUNNY. Me being really generous by giving free medication? This is a joke.

And how in the world would I even manage to pass medicine in the first place. Har. Har.

So yea, obviously, I didnt take Medicine in University. My dad even condemned me, saying that I would kill someone. Right.

SO yeah, the course Im doing right now is based on my father's decision. Not mine. He practically brainwashed me into doing this course.

I dont know whether to say that this is the worst decision ever. I dont understand what I'm doing, and yet somehow, thank god, I'm already in my final year. Somehow, I managed to pull through with the help and support of my family and friends. Its been really tough for me. So much hair loss along the way, so much tears shed.

And now, even after going through all these, it is not the end. I cant. get. a. damn. job. even. after. graduating,

Omg.

It never occurred to me that this would happen haha.

I hate uncertainties. Can someone tell me what lies in the future.

Where will I be next?

In a government hospital in Malaysia or a community pharmacy in England?

Someone give me a crystal ball please.

Sigh.

BACKK!

Sorry for my looooooooong absence! Just couldnt find the mood to blog and was preoccupied with uni work, and ermm.. bejeweled blitz. FK THAT GAME. I had enough. At least 3 hours a day.

Its so bad.

So anyways, its been a month since class started. Back from Italy and Leeds.

Bye holidays, hello work :)

Everything is going great except that its freaking cold now.

Zero degrees when I woke up this morning. And its just Autumn for goodness sake!

So many things to blog about and I dont even know where to start..

Maybe I should start off with my 21st birthday :)

Had a wonderful one thanks to ALL MY BELOVED FRIENDS :)

On the night before, they got me quite drunk.

Well, in addition to my very low alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that I was still burned out from the Italy trip, I got quite tipsy..

At 12 pm, they surprised with me a cake :)

Thank you adrian!

At this point of time, I was quite dizzy. Jaymee was so afraid that I cut someone with the knife hahahaa.

After that, I went back to my room and woke up in the morning to find my face being scribbled on and the wallpaper on my handphone was changed to my drunktard face. Oh god.

Had dinner at a Barca, Princess Square.

Grace and Tracy :D

The girls :)

This picture is too cuteeee!!

Phoebe, JUSTICE P, and Eugene..

Beloved housemates plus cheryl :)

Kisses from Ei Leen. Must be my lucky day :P

Had a blast. Thank y'all for the effort, presents and wishes.

AND THE HOMEMADE surprise lunch :P

Its not me, its you.

Its all coming back to me.

The reason why I didnt want to continue whatever we had.

Fucking annoying.

2 weeks.

That's the amount of time that my blog have not been updated for.

Finally managed to settle down.

I'm back in Glasgow now. Wet, cold Glasgow.

My final year in University now if everything goes well.

Had my interview for pre-reg year yesterday. I wouldnt say that it went well. Not putting my hopes up because of the lack of places available.

Will be leaving for Italy on Monday for 10 days. Rome, Florence, Venice and Capri.

Surprisingly, I'm not really looking forward to it.

I hope my future would be more known to me now. I feel so lost deep inside.

I know that one mistake can make me lose everything.


Fingers crossed.

I just hope that I can say that it was worth it in the end..

I was talking to my friend about his problems with his parents..

Asking him to be patient and that his parents only acted with good intentions.

5 minutes later, my dad called.

We argued. He ended the convo with a "Fuck you" and slammed the phone on me.

Great. FML.



***


Went to Malacca about 10 days back with my darlings.

Its quite recent but it seemed like it happened ages ago!



Miss K.

If you're a malaysian or a singaporean, Malacca is definitely known for its awesome food..

And because we are such gluttons, we went there for a food trip :D Its like a must for me to visit Malacca once a year. And I was in Jonkers street about 1 year ago!


Chicken rice balls, Yam balls, chicken, duck, roasted siew yoke, otak-otak..

Thinking about it is making me hungry :(

After lunch, we adjourned to the next shop for dessert!

Durian cendol. Looks disgusting but, let me assure you, its like heaven in a paper bowl.

Too bad jiaxin, you dont know how to enjoy life. Haha.
The king and his "minions"..


Caught in action: Me trying to be an ass.

We went up the Taming sari ride which was about 33 stories high.

Aaron was too damn chicken to go up the ride even after much taunting from us.


No, they were not looking at the view. They were looking at the pussy below :P

The view from above!

Miss J and K :) Stupid picture which cant be rotated urghh.


We even took a walk up to the ruins of the fort. Dont ask me why. We're very historical :3



Mr sean posing for his buddy..

We were super exhausted after walking around the entire day so jiaxin called her friend up for directions to the satay celup restaurant..

Its like lok-lok but instead of dipping it in hot soup, they use satay sauce.
Yum. Belive it or not, these were taken by 3 girls (and aaron). And we managed to finish up everything :D

There is only one word in my vocabulary now- FAT.

dammit.

There's not a thing that I would change.

The month of august is crucial for me..

Have to finish up my england pre-reg application before the 31st and I'm still waiting to find out whether i'll get the NES interview..

Its a bittersweet feeling..

Part of me hopes that I'll get the interview but on the other hand, I dont want to leave Malaysia so soon :( Sigh.

Class starts on the 24th of September, just one day before my birthday..

Hello 21, I'm coming!


Lately, I've been hanging out a lot at Starbucks and Tutti Frutti.

My 2 favourite chilling spots to gossip and to just relax.

Miss linda and our frappacinos. I love love love green tea frap but unfortunately, there's none in the UK. Funny how we can not talk for the most of the 9 months when I'm away but when we meet, we can talk about anything and everything :)

And thanks to Jia xin, I'm falling for tutti frutti yummmms.

I like yogurt so the idea of frozen yogurt is appealing to me :D

A less fattening and healthier alternative to ice cream..





The place is self service so you can take as much as you want, whatever flavour you desire.

However, they charge Rm 5.30 per 100 grams so, if you're greedy, it'll just cost a bomb..

The end product :D

Pretty isnt it!

Went to MOS last thursday after 2 freaking years.

I remember the last time I was there, I ended up crying on the toilet for some fucked up reason ahhaha.

Never liked that place and I still dont thanks to the crowd.

Dont think I'll go back anytime soon. Or ever.

Overexposure.

Look ma! No nose! XD

Still a kid at heart.

In about 3 weeks time, I'll be on an aeroplane back to cold and boring Glasgow.

Sadddddd.


I'm already too used to staying in KL. Cant be arsed to move my butt now.

Went up to Genting Highlands last week.


Our breakfast. The cards you see on the table.. yup that's right. We're monopoly deal addicts. Anywhere, anytime. And I'm just sooo awesome in the game that Cempaka beats Subang MOST OF THE TIME. Aherm, inside joke.



The first ride of the day was The Pirate Ship (for aaron's case, it was the ONLY ride). Yeah, he is worse than Jaymee. Jay Mee, if you're reading this, you should be proud of yourself. Except that he didnt cry during the ride. All he did was just mutter "fuck the world" during the entire ride.

I honestly hate waiting for rides. Like I have nothing better to do (Ok, maybe there's some truth in there). Waited for half an hour just to sit a 30 second ride ON a weekday. Dont you people have study or go to work??




2 pink alien looking weirdos. Kamen was so excited abt the ride but I was more concerned on not getting myself wet. Usually the person sitting infront is the one who usually gets more drenched so to be fair, we decided by playing "scissors paper stone".. for 27 rounds. Wtf. And I lost. Fml.


Come to think of it, we look pretty pathetic. Hahaha. Nevertheless, my ass and socks were drenched and I had a massive craving for KFC after the ride. Sigh..


The day was fun. But it ended with me having a terrible migraine and a KFC craving which was not fulfilled.

Sobs.

****

You know that you have great friends when the only time they make you cry is when you are laughing too hard.

Clothes woes.

Going through my closet gives me a headache. Imagine having 2 full closets of clothes in malaysia and buying an entire new set of waredrobe in uk. So being the jobless person I am, I decided to organise it. And.. FML..

It wasnt a very easy task.




While going through my clothes, I was feeling very frustrated because most of my clothes are all so tiny or have a very short cutting or is just plain butt ugly.

Dammit.

Now I know where all my father's money went to. :(

Next time when I say I have nothing to wear, somebody, please, slap me.






I have decided to donate this whole pile of clothes away. Its really an eyesore. :(

While going through my clothes, I found a bright blue 3 quarter pants.

What the hell was I thinking?! Fashion crime. Haha.


On another note, Ive been shopping a lot with jiaxin for the past week.

Since I lacked sleep for the past 1 month because I was working during the day and partying during the night, my skin deteriorated and became really bad.

So yeah, decided to invest more on skincare products..

These are my favourite buys..

Shu Uemura's cleansing oil, Cellnique b-liv's blackhead remover and The Face Shop's make up base.

The make up base definitely highly recommended. Smoothes and tones your skin tone before applying foundation. I heart Korean products (more like Lee min ho) =P

Yes, I'm still not over that obsession XD


More pics of my eyecandy :) :) :)





Too hot to be true.. Ahh...

Dont have to thank me, you're very welcome :) hahaha I can imagine ppl like jiaxin and kamen rolling their eyes. Bitches.

I was googling for lee min ho's official fan club today and I found out that if i join his korean fan club, I'll get special passes to meet him next time in korea and get his official fan club card YAY :D I was so damn tempted to join it but the only thing I understand frm his korean website is that the membership fee is 25,000 won. Other than that, its gibberish..

Fml.

And I realise that thre is no Official Lee min ho fan club in Malaysia??

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??

Should I start one.. I can be the president XD



And why did noone tell me that he was in Singapore on the 31st of july??? ARGHHHHHHHHH.. SO near, yet.. so far..

FML X 1000000000000000000000000