Self control

Enough of starting my blog entry with the word sorry.

More like, hi, I'm back.

My personal online diary. Abandoned you for months but somehow, I always come back. ha.

So anyway, so many things changed and happened in the past few months.

Academic wise, social life, love life (?)..

But most of all, I'm most repulsed by my lackadaisical attitude.

I dont feel like Im acting like a student anymore.

Most upset with my horrendous lifestyle. This has got to change.

I dont know where to start.

What do I want from my life. Didnt even bother to make a resolution list this year because I know that it wont be fulfilled. I have other obsessions which are fucking detrimental to my future.

I want to change. No, I need to change.

Do you have self control? Because I know I dont.

I lost myself.

I hope one day, I can regain back what I lost. everything.

Self control is the most valuable thing I want now.

Only I can give myself that.

I hope one day, when I read this again, I can tell myself, yes, I have self control.

Greed, lust, jealousy, hatred, procrastination kills.

Ghost n stuff

As days gets shorter, the night lingers on for a longer period of time.

Nothing seems to matter any more.

Went out for 6 nights in 2 weeks.

Had enough.

Attended a flat party which was hosted by my batch :)

We all had to dress up so I decided to dress up as a devil. SO ME RIGHT? :P

Wanted to be a bunny but I guess Im not so 'bouncy hyper-ish' after all.

So on Saturday, I impulsively bought some horns and gloves to complement my devil look.

Yummylicious :)

Ainur as an angel, Jaymee as a cat mouse, Grace as Jenny Humprey, Eileen as a flower girl, Whit-ni as.. I dont know? She looked really pretty though. Audrey Hepburn probably, and Tracy as a playboy bunny :) Love it all!

See how many devils there were? Wrong choice I supposed.

Baby cheryl is the cutest :) hahahaa. Wanna pinch her cheeeeks!

Zhi as a mysterious witch and Yi ping as the black angel. So sexy i like!

Group piccc!!! :D

The next day, we went to La Tasca to celebrate Chew Eileen's birthday :D

Later on we hit the club.

Was the wrong choice thanks to simba who suggested Milan and ditched us because it was sooo empty.

Love the space there though. Nobody to push you around humph! Literally NOONE. Hahaa.

Jaymee the devil and the birthday girl :)

My sexy friends and I haha.

Left the club pretty early to head back to rest but ended up in another flat party which was even more happening than the club?

Absurd.

Happy halloween everybody.

What did you dress up as :)

The future.

Have you ever thought of what you wanted to be when you were younger? Did you actually fulfil your ambition?

As for me, whenever I was asked this question or made to write an essay about it, my mind goes blank. I never knew what I liked, what I wanted in life, where my talent lies.

I always just replied by saying i want to be a doctor so that I could help others and give people free medication. But obviously, thats bullshit.

Me? Being a doctor? FUNNY. Me being really generous by giving free medication? This is a joke.

And how in the world would I even manage to pass medicine in the first place. Har. Har.

So yea, obviously, I didnt take Medicine in University. My dad even condemned me, saying that I would kill someone. Right.

SO yeah, the course Im doing right now is based on my father's decision. Not mine. He practically brainwashed me into doing this course.

I dont know whether to say that this is the worst decision ever. I dont understand what I'm doing, and yet somehow, thank god, I'm already in my final year. Somehow, I managed to pull through with the help and support of my family and friends. Its been really tough for me. So much hair loss along the way, so much tears shed.

And now, even after going through all these, it is not the end. I cant. get. a. damn. job. even. after. graduating,

Omg.

It never occurred to me that this would happen haha.

I hate uncertainties. Can someone tell me what lies in the future.

Where will I be next?

In a government hospital in Malaysia or a community pharmacy in England?

Someone give me a crystal ball please.

Sigh.

BACKK!

Sorry for my looooooooong absence! Just couldnt find the mood to blog and was preoccupied with uni work, and ermm.. bejeweled blitz. FK THAT GAME. I had enough. At least 3 hours a day.

Its so bad.

So anyways, its been a month since class started. Back from Italy and Leeds.

Bye holidays, hello work :)

Everything is going great except that its freaking cold now.

Zero degrees when I woke up this morning. And its just Autumn for goodness sake!

So many things to blog about and I dont even know where to start..

Maybe I should start off with my 21st birthday :)

Had a wonderful one thanks to ALL MY BELOVED FRIENDS :)

On the night before, they got me quite drunk.

Well, in addition to my very low alcohol tolerance and considering the fact that I was still burned out from the Italy trip, I got quite tipsy..

At 12 pm, they surprised with me a cake :)

Thank you adrian!

At this point of time, I was quite dizzy. Jaymee was so afraid that I cut someone with the knife hahahaa.

After that, I went back to my room and woke up in the morning to find my face being scribbled on and the wallpaper on my handphone was changed to my drunktard face. Oh god.

Had dinner at a Barca, Princess Square.

Grace and Tracy :D

The girls :)

This picture is too cuteeee!!

Phoebe, JUSTICE P, and Eugene..

Beloved housemates plus cheryl :)

Kisses from Ei Leen. Must be my lucky day :P

Had a blast. Thank y'all for the effort, presents and wishes.

AND THE HOMEMADE surprise lunch :P

Its not me, its you.

Its all coming back to me.

The reason why I didnt want to continue whatever we had.

Fucking annoying.

2 weeks.

That's the amount of time that my blog have not been updated for.

Finally managed to settle down.

I'm back in Glasgow now. Wet, cold Glasgow.

My final year in University now if everything goes well.

Had my interview for pre-reg year yesterday. I wouldnt say that it went well. Not putting my hopes up because of the lack of places available.

Will be leaving for Italy on Monday for 10 days. Rome, Florence, Venice and Capri.

Surprisingly, I'm not really looking forward to it.

I hope my future would be more known to me now. I feel so lost deep inside.

I know that one mistake can make me lose everything.


Fingers crossed.

I just hope that I can say that it was worth it in the end..

I was talking to my friend about his problems with his parents..

Asking him to be patient and that his parents only acted with good intentions.

5 minutes later, my dad called.

We argued. He ended the convo with a "Fuck you" and slammed the phone on me.

Great. FML.



***


Went to Malacca about 10 days back with my darlings.

Its quite recent but it seemed like it happened ages ago!



Miss K.

If you're a malaysian or a singaporean, Malacca is definitely known for its awesome food..

And because we are such gluttons, we went there for a food trip :D Its like a must for me to visit Malacca once a year. And I was in Jonkers street about 1 year ago!


Chicken rice balls, Yam balls, chicken, duck, roasted siew yoke, otak-otak..

Thinking about it is making me hungry :(

After lunch, we adjourned to the next shop for dessert!

Durian cendol. Looks disgusting but, let me assure you, its like heaven in a paper bowl.

Too bad jiaxin, you dont know how to enjoy life. Haha.
The king and his "minions"..


Caught in action: Me trying to be an ass.

We went up the Taming sari ride which was about 33 stories high.

Aaron was too damn chicken to go up the ride even after much taunting from us.


No, they were not looking at the view. They were looking at the pussy below :P

The view from above!

Miss J and K :) Stupid picture which cant be rotated urghh.


We even took a walk up to the ruins of the fort. Dont ask me why. We're very historical :3



Mr sean posing for his buddy..

We were super exhausted after walking around the entire day so jiaxin called her friend up for directions to the satay celup restaurant..

Its like lok-lok but instead of dipping it in hot soup, they use satay sauce.
Yum. Belive it or not, these were taken by 3 girls (and aaron). And we managed to finish up everything :D

There is only one word in my vocabulary now- FAT.

dammit.

Still a kid at heart.

In about 3 weeks time, I'll be on an aeroplane back to cold and boring Glasgow.

Sadddddd.


I'm already too used to staying in KL. Cant be arsed to move my butt now.

Went up to Genting Highlands last week.


Our breakfast. The cards you see on the table.. yup that's right. We're monopoly deal addicts. Anywhere, anytime. And I'm just sooo awesome in the game that Cempaka beats Subang MOST OF THE TIME. Aherm, inside joke.



The first ride of the day was The Pirate Ship (for aaron's case, it was the ONLY ride). Yeah, he is worse than Jaymee. Jay Mee, if you're reading this, you should be proud of yourself. Except that he didnt cry during the ride. All he did was just mutter "fuck the world" during the entire ride.

I honestly hate waiting for rides. Like I have nothing better to do (Ok, maybe there's some truth in there). Waited for half an hour just to sit a 30 second ride ON a weekday. Dont you people have study or go to work??




2 pink alien looking weirdos. Kamen was so excited abt the ride but I was more concerned on not getting myself wet. Usually the person sitting infront is the one who usually gets more drenched so to be fair, we decided by playing "scissors paper stone".. for 27 rounds. Wtf. And I lost. Fml.


Come to think of it, we look pretty pathetic. Hahaha. Nevertheless, my ass and socks were drenched and I had a massive craving for KFC after the ride. Sigh..


The day was fun. But it ended with me having a terrible migraine and a KFC craving which was not fulfilled.

Sobs.

****

You know that you have great friends when the only time they make you cry is when you are laughing too hard.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn..

HELLLOOO.

Sorry I totally forgotten that I have a blog!!

Been so occupied lately that I barely even slept :(

My 2 of darlings left over the weekend back to aussie.

Was spending so much time with the girls ..

Having spontaneous nights out and doing crazy stuff..





It was soo crazy. none of us plan to club that night. Or wore anything appropriate for clubbing. But we did.

And it turned out to be the best spontaneous girlie night ever!


Will miss it very much when we all separate once again..

But its ok, I'm busy with my new darlings.. LEE MIN HO AND KIM BUM.

Meet my new idol :)




Goodbye lee dong wook.. its lee min ho ftw :D

Tell me, it is even possible to meet someone like that!!!

I think I annoyed my mum today. She asked me to suggest a place for lunch today, so I said sunrise duck rice. But because of my ignorance, we didnt have lunch there because it closes on monday. So she asked me what else I had in mind for lunch but all I could say was, no sunrise, no lee min ho, no life.

God. =.=


Hahaha. Ok enough bout my obsession.

Something random just happened:

I just got chased my a dog while jogging.. wtf. Thank god i reached the guard house in time. I thought my legs were gonna fail on me O.O

I knw that its silly to run away from a dog. I was initially walking really slowly and I tried my best not to have eye contact with the dog. It kept following me. Closer and closer. To the point I suddenly heard it growling and barking. And so, I ran for my life.

Good way to work out!

Will have a proper post soon. As for now, I'm gonna immerse myself with GU JUN PYO. KTHXBYE.

Untitled

I had lunch with kamen (and spouse), lihong (and spouse), jx, jon c and riz today but.. that not the highlight today. Who cares about them.. pfft :P

The main point of this post is...

jeng jeng jengggg..

MY STUFF IS FINALLY HERE!!!


God bless my business partner. She didnt want anyone to know what it is, so she wrapped it up for me.

Good luck indeed. I need it!

Today was the first time I played the piano after a year..

Surprisingly, Im still able to still sight read well enough.

River flows in you. Brought back so many memories..

I cant believe how fast time pass!

Story of my life.

Does everyone still remember their first love? I sure do.

And it was fucked.

A convo with a friend just reminded me of all the painful memories I had.

It was a mistake chatting with him.

I cant believe that there's still so much hatred in me.

A picture taken when all those shits were happening.

Like the words of kamen, we were once thin. heh.

Sipping gin and juice.

For the past entire week, I have substituted meat for soup cos I was ill.



From chicken soup to mushroom soup, abc soup, whatever rubbish soup you can think off.

And I lost 2 kgs :D

Every time I have a craving for chocolate, I open up Jane Norman's website.

Seriously, it works.


Tracy tracy check this out in glasgowwww
http://www.janenorman.co.uk/fcp/product/buy-fashion-look-fabulous/Sale/lattice-back-dress/9187?colour=black

I WANNNTTTT....



I think back to the times when I got so depressed in the dressing room.

(BTW KAMEN, BETTER BUY ME THOSE PILLS. I NEED THEM DESPERATELY!!!)

I managed to skive work for 2 days because of my flu but it rained for those 2 days. Just my luck. Made me feel gloomier.

One thing I dont miss about Malaysia is the thunderstorms. Urghh.

When my fever subsided, daddy brought me to a Vietnamese restaurant down at One bangsar.

The presentation was good but Im not a big fan of Vietnamese food.

The flavour was too fishy for my liking and I dont quite like having basil in all my dishes.

I only took pictures of some of the appetizers we ordered cos it was pretty unique :)



Jackfruit and Prawn Salad. Quite an odd combination but it was pretty good.



Fried spring rolls (sticking out from a pineapple). Yeah, thanks, it made my throat worse :( But they made it look so cool!

Fishcakes with sugarcane. I miss sugarcane!!!

Ok sorry for my bad photography skills and lousy resolution picture. You're supposed to focus on the pretty carrot craved bird and not my mummy's flabby stomach ahahahhaha. wth.

I realised that I havent been eating any western food for the past 3 weeks.

AND I DONT EVEN MISS IT :P

So anyway, I've been busy lately. And tired. Of work.


I face this shit everyday. The "poison" cabinet. And I didnt study pharmacy just to dispense morning after pills!! AND STOCK COUNT CONDOMS.

I knw every single brand and type of condom and lubricant Guardian sells now.


What the heck.


***

When to Phuture last week and the week before. (People ask me why do I like to go to Phuture and I always say, because I want to know the future.. I know, lame lame......)

The whole world usually clubs there. Thats why.

And the music is good!

Finally partied with both the babes. BUT I WAS DAMN SOBER. Not a single drop of alcohol. Ok maybe just a sip. BECAUSE I WAS SICK :((

Walked around so much trying to find my friends and watchng them get drunk.

Oh boy.




Met one of my sam classmates as wellllllll :)) She looks sooooo cute ahha like a teddy bear.

The "drunk" future dentists..

Wasnt that bad of a night actually. Managed to catch up with a lot of people. BUT, I think I need to rest this week. I'm getting way tooooo old for this.

Mahjong anyone? :D